The power of a whistle...or so she thought

 It was her first year directing school traffic.  The petite red head thought she could control traffic because she wore the sacred whistle.   She didn't stand a chance against a mom who drove her kids to school for a living. It is a three hour a day commute, and I've had 5 years practice maneuvering through school gridlock.
Until she took over I had been a pretty low-key player in the school traffic.  I had and still have the mandated SUV with cute little stickers of my feathered family (parrot, lovebird, parakeet) on my back windshield.  Not very threatening, just another person in line.

Two months into the school year she started playing favorites.  Instead of letting cars go in the preordained fashion, she began to look into the cars and if she liked the driver they went first.  Now at this point you need to understand, how desperate parents become after waiting forty minutes in line, only to be stopped because you aren't on her good list.

I started to ignore her.  Simple enough, I thought.   She blew on that whistle until her face turned red. I just turned up my stereo and whipped around her. Next day, same thing except she caught up to me while my son was loading his backpack into the car.  She yelled at me through the window. I didn't even turn my head to look at her. I put my V-8 to use, leaving her standing there in shock.

Threatening letters and phone calls from the principal started coming home. The whistler got braver and started standing just inches away from my car. Blocking me with her pint-sized body worked for a couple days. Then she got lazy and left just enough room for me to get past her again.

  She then resorted to parking her perky backside on the bumper of my car! Finally a simple way to end this fight.   Revving my engine, I honked the horn and honking scaring her to the point that she slid off my car.

 Although she is still alive, I claim victory because she has passed her beloved whistle to someone else.
Now that you know most of the story,  I need to clarify that no kids were in danger and once she was gone traffic flowed freely.

I'll share my tips on getting through the line quicker next time.